welcome.
If you're curious, crazyknee.com is:
a personal Web page (a blog, even) created by Leanne H. Milway. The page was launched Nov. 1, 2000, the day she had ACL/meniscus repair performed on her right leg.
Hence the "crazy knee."
This page will be updated in some weekly way.

26 february 2001 . 06:18 pm PT
Best damn band you've never heard of, the kind of band that makes you dance: Call and Response. [And, yes, Jeremy knew about them first.] Here is some local coverage, but it's nowhere near as good as the piece I'M going to write when I see them/interview them tomorrow night. They are smart, funky pop, featuring kickass bass lines and a sweetness that lifts you off your feet. Bottom of the Hill! Noise Pop! You rock!

Please give some space for Knee Observation: you see, I ruined this joint doing very UNathletic things. This was poor preparation for the pain, and I'm talking about PAIN, as I make myself reach normal knee action, after five months of limp (or less-than-limp, even). All I want to be able to do is walk, and dance. I didn't blow my knee skiing, or playing sporty stuff like soccer. No. I was hanging out. For the 2.5 years in D.C. I knew I needed surgery, but it was an afterthought. Move to the bay area, and these typical bay area activities (hiking, kayaking, beach combing, walking up & down steep hills in the clear cool February afternoons) fucked my knee. So, little unathletic me has to FORCE herself to work on the joint -- as if I were in training, something I've never experienced. I mean, I started high school on crutches! A coach in middle school asked me to be on the track team, but later that year the left knee went *pop* in gym class, and I was wheeled out on a stretcher. From then on I had an excuse for not being extra in-shape, for not sweating after school on the field. Ah. But now, now? I have to grit my teeth, sweat and curse so I can move, dance, play again.

A good thing: I'm developing a new walk. No joke. I actually have a much more pronounced swagger. With a longer stride, I can cover more ground with less knee stress. I lope, now. There's a bit of a bounce too.

Are you sick of the knee? I'm just obsessed with pain, I admit it. Weak-kneed, fast-walking girls like me hate pain. But I seem to invite it. You know I take three injections of insulin a day, right? Dull Needles in the Abdomen = album title.

Nite Ranger: Help me, OB1.
OB1: Nite Ranger, we love the knee.

Saw a preview (while watching "House of Mirth" which is . . . uh . . . okay, I guess. And I recently read the book, if that means anything.) for "Memento" and it looks sweeeeeet, Sundance favorite, backwards-in-time structure, NYTimes back me up!

Oh! The 2001 Beck Mix has been screened, and is ready for shipping. Those of you who asked, will receive. Any last minute orders?

23 february 2001 . 02:08 pm PT
I'm sorry, but this report of G.W.Bush's first White House press conference ignites fear in my heart, my soul, and the rest of the free world. Reporter Jake Tapper (who used to write for the Washington City Paper and who once dated Monica Lewinsky!) tells how Dubya is completely coasting, and has NO CLUE what is going on around him.

Cheers to my East Coast friends who managed to avoid this 3-mile-long 128-car pile-up on I-95. 128 cars!! People were leaping out of their vehicles and running for the woods in order to escape the carnage! Damn that snow.

I haven't been a big fan of Letterman since my early college days (um, that's 1993, I guess), but last night's Top Ten List: Favorite Elementary School Excuse Notes had me crying. With laughter, I mean. It probably helped that Henry Kissinger read the list. And that Dave said the list was composed of real notes collected from a school in Bowie, Maryland. And I'm from Bel Air, Maryland, so, you know.

21 february 2001 . 11:38 am PT
Leonardo is going to marry supermodel Gisele? Does that make anyone else want to barf?

Better: LATimes interview with Stephen Malkmus, my new indie-rock hero. I only just got Pavement, and I mean I really got it, so this solo effort by the former frontman makes me giddy. And I'm even happier on top of that because I got it all FREE from the glorious Napster, amen.

Also: You know about the short story collection "Speaking With the Angel" by today's hip writers (Z.Smith, D.Eggers (duh), I.Welsh, H.Fielding, etc.) edited by Nick "High Fidelity" Hornby. Well, here's a nice interview with Nick about his autistic son, a subject he discusses in the book intro (proceeds for this book will benefit TreeHouse, a school for autistic kids).

And: Everything you need to know about "Temptation Island" since you already know it is the first sign of the coming apocalypse.

20 february 2001 . 03:42 pm PT
Finally, finally, finally. I have completed DeLilllo's "Underworld." Whew. Thank god I no longer have to truck that dead weight around. I guess it was good, DeLillo writes all poetic and epic-like. I wanted a bit more of a wrap-up at the end there, but if I give myself time to think about it, to think about it the way English profs encourage us to think, I bet everything is closed up, all neat, under lots of layers and shit. And it ends with a scene on the World Wide Web. Hoorah. But now is my favorite moment of ending a book: starting a new one. I will be picking up "Shutterbabe" in about four seconds. 3 . . .2 . . .1 . . .

19 february 2001 . 11:54 pm PT
Man, oh man. Weekend hangover stretches into a "holiday" monday (i, as a work-at-home dotcom "writer", am always on holiday. it's sick, really). Do you want to hear highlights, such as the Alternative Press Expo (one to watch out for: "Ghost World" as a major motion picture)? Do you care that the Bottom of the Hill on Sundays (featuring an all-you-can-eat BBQ! I mean, cole slaw and potato salad and plastic forks!) is the best place ever to sit around, make friends, and listen to music (alt-folky Tim Easton played with members of Wilco and a sure-to-be-famous bespeckled young guy (Chris Burney) on the stand-up bass)? Today we dabbled in fun hands-on science-y things at the Exploratorium before feeding ravenous ducks outside the Palace of Fine Arts (built in 1915 for the Panama-Pacific International Exposition). Ah, well. Too much information about more pointless crap. "The Simpsons" is on, I should go.

And tomorrow . . . tomorrow I will bend the occasionally full-of-immense-pain knee for my surgeon. Wish me luck.

16 february 2001 . 11:48 am PT
Today we're watching movies with Steven Soderbergh. We're doing this because he's kinda cool ("Schizopolis"! Nose army beef diapers!) and we feel he deserves congrats on his double whammy Oscar nominations (2 of his for best picture, 2 for best director! yeow.). Speaking of, could someone please explain to me how sappy crappy things like "Chocolat" are up for best picture?

14 february 2001 . 01:55 am PT
Yes, it's Valentine's Day, time for love, mmm hmmm. My gift to you is a poem called The Letter S is Hissing, written by me. It's part of the much-anticipated Alphabet Series. *shrugs* Sometimes I don't know why I do this stuff, the poetry thing, but it doesn't seem like I can stop it. Oh, and The Letter K is a Kiss.

D'oh! big picture of Dave Eggers and his curly hair in the NYTimes! Poor young best-selling author, he claims to suffer "public embarrassment as punishment for living on." Sure. My god, but the guy has me: I think I'm going to have to buy the "Heartbreaking" paperback just for the (sure to be whip-smart and ironic!) appendix, in which there willl appear "additional vivid descriptions of his own self-mortification." ALSO! this story reports that Egg has left NYC and is back in San Fran! Where? Where are you? SHOW YOURSELF.

Ignore me.

10 february 2001 . 07:47 pm PT
Print out and read: 1.) Girls like bad boys; guys are hot for crazy women. 2.) Reporter's notes from the Sean "Puffy" Combs trial (featuring people named Chutney, Wolf, Shyne and Scar wearing "snorkle jackets." Lawyer's quote: "You can call him Puff. You can call him Puff Daddy. But you cannot call him guilty.").

08 february 2001 . 05:56 pm PT
I've brought you news about Disney's $1.4b California Adventure theme park, and I will continue to do so, especially given the crazyknee's predilection for broad generalizations about the glorious Golden State. The SFChronicle reports:

Chris Cossio, 13, of Anaheim, said he had been to the real Monterey and liked Disney's Monterey better.
"The real Monterey is slow," he said. "Too slow. There's more to see at this one."

Ha! Disney's California Adventure, the Chronicle says quite poignantly, represents everthing that wise old coot Walt Disney fought against.

The LATimes has a different (not as funny or cutting) angle about how, unlike Disneyland, the new park is "really into pop culture." I like this though::: "The one thing that characterizes California is people coming here for a better life, to invent new things because anything was possible here." Is that true? For real? Is that why I'm here?

08 february 2001 . 09:55 am PT
The other day I was at the office (more than half the time I get to work from home, you see), and I had my trusty camera with me (of course) in order to document my Day in the Life on a Sprawling Corporate Campus. Alright, it's not that sprawling, but there are definitely plenty of amazing photo opportunities. Thing is, I look really angry in every picture I took. I think this is due to my fear that someone would find me snapping away and ask questions. Questions for which there are no sane answers! But, I'll post some later.

Agh! There are strange men climbing in the weeds outside my window. You remember the opossum? It's been replaced by two MEN. Perhaps I should take a picture. When in doubt, or when being stared at in your living room by strangers, take pictures.

05 february 2001 . 09:58 pm PT
Went to Reno and played the slots, but I didn't win anything. Rode up and down majestic snow-covered slopes, but I haven't posted the pictures. Wrote amazing short stories in my head, but I have yet to pick up a pen. Thought of the perfect thing to say to you, but I'm still too afraid.

03 february 2001 . 11:34 pm PT
I think I had a few paragraphs of pointless musings to share with you. But it's late, I'm tired, and I have to wake up so early tomorrow. We're heading to Tahoe/Reno. No skiing for me (the knee still has a lot of healing to do) but I can already hear those slot machines humming.

02 february 2001 . 10:46 am PT
If you call me Monica, I'll sue. Hoo boy!

That "S" is as far as I got in my entry yesterday. I wonder what went down. Actually, I think I know what happened, because I'm still feeling it this morning. *groans* AND I'm supposed to meet my "trainer" at the gym later! *vomits*

Oh! I bet I was going to write how "Survivor" is -- no doubt about it -- unique, exciting television. Maybe I'm going overboard, but so what? It provides more thrills than "Buffy" (did she really say that?). Some complain that "Survivor" is too edited, unreal, scripted, etc. But, whatever . . . it's a game. We're trying to guess who will win, all the scheming brats in the Outback are trying their hardest to win that game (which is, essentially, a short ride on the Wheel of Fame), and the producers are stringing us all along, doling out clues and false leads to keep us glued to the screen (where they hawk overpriced shoes, wireless technology, and soda pop). Genius! And I've decided that I really like the gangly singer/songwriter from Jersey. Who knew. Who knew . . .

Pictures of celebs and their zits.

01 february 2001 . 9:57 pm PT
S

>>> Read the old knees: January, December, or November. Too much fun. Or not. <<<<